ugh, i did NOT think i would to day 5. i got home from work last night and had part of my dinner immediately, half a cantelope and cottage cheese. So the only items left would be a starch, veggies and salad, but i just wanted something more substantial so i ate the hamburger helper that my boyfriend made. Flour and wheat are not on the abstinent food plan prescribed by my books, but at this point, i dont' feel willing and i dont' really believe that i'm affected by wheat and flour in the same way that i am sugar. i also feel WAY to constricted as to what i can eat without at least some pasta or bread occasionatly. I want to stay away from refined carb food items but i just dont' see how i can live on such a restriced plan.
So I ate my dinner and then I noticed that my bf had bought a bag of hershey's miniatures and he made careful effort to just eat a couple on the sly and then bring the bag to work, but even the very mention of the existence of chocolate within my reach made my mind go into hyperdrive with thoughts of stealing and binging and eating in secret. But I managed not to partake of this and i didn't eat anything else for the night.
This morning i woke up and had the cereal part of my breakfast straight away and i packed the protein and fruit for when i got to work. I didn't have time to pack a lunch, so i'm hoping that i can find something filling and abstinent. I should probably replace the word hoping with "i know" so that i believe it more completely and i commit myself eating abstinently no matter what. I just still find it hard to really accept that i can no longer have all those sugary wonderful treats that are just friggen everywhere. this feels so unfair.....
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